Satirical+Solution+P5CO

The Battle Royale of the Christian Faith
The United States is a country that prides itself in being called “the land of the free,” and with this title comes the liberty to participate and worship in any religion that one prefers. Christianity is the most prominent religion in our country today. The colonists brought it with them from Europe in the 1800s, as they were mainly faith-based people, and it has flourished ever since. However, since the time that they tackled the unruly seas to find a haven in the New World, Christianity has formed into many different subcategories otherwise known as denominations. Nevertheless, the denominations have interpreted and developed the religion to mean many different things; many of which break away from the fundamentalist view of how the Christian faith or the bible should be interpreted. Many of these views have been twisted and construed to mean different things under different circumstances. With this in mind, one may find that many of the Christians living in present-day society have proven to be highly hypocritical of their beliefs.

One could accuse Christians as being hypocritical in numerous areas. The Ten Commandments state “Thou shall not kill,” however, the administration, made up predominantly of Conservative Christians, have been more than willing to send a little less than two hundred thousand soldiers to do exactly that. They are sending them to kill. The Conservatives heading the administration are using their hypocritical choices and actions to keep hundreds of thousands of our troops overseas fighting for a cause that cannot be won. The war has caused an unbearable number of casualties and yet the administration wishes to issue another shipment of troops to serve for an unconquerable cause. To be cleansed of this unhealthy hypocrisy that one may find so commonly today, and to bring the war to a close by allowing our troops to come home, a single solution might be to suggest that they kill themselves off. The solution to lead the Christians into a Battle Royale of sorts would prove to be very effective, because with no Christian religion, how could Christian hypocrisy take place?

The United States is actually headed by a very religiously oriented administration made up of Conservative Christians. As the Conservatives make up the government currently in power, they have the power to determine how the country is to spend its money. An issue that has currently risen in public awareness is that the administration has been using its money to fund religious organizations instead of using it to promote the economy, something that the U.S. is in dire need of. Bush refers to his proclamation as a Faith Based Initiative and announced that he will spend $20 billion or more from the nation’s treasury on this endeavor. Bush declares that “religious groups are being encouraged to access public funds in a broad range of federal programs, and civil rights protections against religious discrimination” (CFFPP). This has been found appalling by many disgruntled citizens. .Many believe that the money should go towards schools, welfare, programs for children in the communities, etc. However, this issue has proven to be very useful in the downfall of Christian hypocrisy.

With the administration passing out large sums of money by the millions, the religious organizations that aren’t receiving the money will become more aware of how the money is being distributed. They will become concerned that their denominations are not being funded, that they aren’t as capable of expanding their denomination and glorifying their faith. The unfair distribution of the administration’s funding will cause tension and ultimately the undeserving denominations will begin to feel threatened by the vastly increasing well-funded denominations. They each believe that //their// faith is the //best// faith and will climactically conclude that the only way to prove the superiority of their faith is to kill off all the other denominations that threaten their voice to the people. This will come to be known as the Battle Royale of the Christian faith.

The denominations receiving the immense amount of funding will triumph over the weaker ones, because they will have had the money to afford weaponry, such as bombs and missiles in order to protect themselves from the weaker rebelling denominations. This will lead to the quick and total annihilation of weak denominations. The administration, however, will continue funding the war between Christian denominations because they will argue that the war is for preserving the peace of the religion, and will commend it. They will transfer large sums of money in order to perpetuate the battle with no ‘picked’ side or idea of how it will turn out. However, when the fighting between the denominations has ceased, because one particular denomination has triumphed over its brethren, the champion denomination will realize that in order to secure the superiority of their beliefs, they must bring down the most physically powerful group of all. They must destroy the administration.

Nonetheless, the battle between the lasting denomination and the administration will persist into an intense cutthroat war until there is no man left standing. Neither side will triumph, and the Christian faith will be totally and utterly annihilated from within the borders of the United States. The Christians had become their own demise. Even if one particular denomination had triumphed over all, they would soon come to their differences and many would be forced to break away to form their own denominations. After a period of time and when tensions began to rise, the denominations would fight for religious superiority once again. This would be an on-going issue until it would finally envelop the country and destroy it. There is no preserving of the Christian faith for it is hypocritical of itself and will continue to be so until it leads to its own destruction.

With the Christian faith having been exterminated, the economy of the United States will once again be able to rebuild itself and our troops will be able to come home. All of the money that had originally gone to the religious denominations will safely be restored to the important issues to allow for the creation of a stronger economical United States. With religious hypocrisy as a thing of the past, the economy will boom, the country will flourish, and the citizens of the United States will live happily ever after.



If you would like to learn more about Bush's Faith-Based Initiative, here are some sites that you might find to be quite interesting:

[|Newsweekly Interview]

[|Newsweekly Perspectives]

[|Special Issue on Government Funding of Faith-Based Services]

P5 CO'Toole

[|Christianity]